Friday, 2 August 2013

Start of Week 1

7 days of detoxing later and its time to start the shakes. Which is an improvement over the kind of detoxing that involves the shakes to be true.  During my detox week whilst eating clean I lost 9lb which is feeling like an unbelievable achievement but the scales don't lie (though mine often scream 'FOR PITY'S SAKE, ONE AT A TIME at me when I step on them).  And more to the point I am loving the food. 

In the last week I have experimented more than I ever usually do.  Removing dairy, wheat/gluten, sugar and caffeine from my diet seemed initially like a mountain to climb.  And if I got lost I wouldnt even be able to drink the alcohol bought to me by the friendly St Bernard because I've given that up too!  So I girded my loins and had my usual pre diet last supper - though I doubt Jesus ever ate Milka Daim the night before his crucifixion - and determined myself I would do my best.  And I came away really surprised.  Caffeine withdrawal sucked every bit as much as I thought it would and I did have a few days of blistering white hot headaches.  But I ibuprofenned them into non existence and found that not only did I not miss the caffeine hit after a while but actually my fluid intake went up from about 1.5l to 3 litres plus as I wasnt so bloated from the carbonation.  Tonight will be my 1st night shift without caffeine which will no doubt be testing but in a perverse kind of way I am looking forward to it.  Which I suppose is on a par with enjoying having being bikini waxed but nevertheless it will be interesting to do a night where I don't have to rely on my 4am 'hit'.

But food wise I have eaten really really well.  Chicken in broccoli and feta sauce was really tasty (and, you would assume from the color, eaten by the Jolly Green Giant or Incredible Hulk which initially was...strange, though good for Marvel fans) and clean kebabs were even approved of by Mr J which is not unlike needing approval from Bernard Matthews for your turkey.  I have even ventured into the realms of the local butcher for my meat rather than the supermarket.  I have a real butcher (he has side burns) and whilst its cost more its tasted great and has come from a local farm to him to me.  Can't ask for much better without visiting the farm to chow down on Buttercup direct.  Which does lead to the shopping.  In total honesty the inital outlay to get started eating clean was quite high as my cupboards generally weren't set up for it and my poor abused debit card did find itself weeping gently in a corner of Holland & Barrett where I'm fairly sure now I should have some kind of VIP status.  But once the initial ingredients were bought in I am spending far less than I was on food by simple dint of not popping out for a can of coke and choccie bar daily (the local newsagent lady thinks I've died I'm sure) or buying in dinner daily complete with pudding and actually, SHOCKINGLY, cooking using store cupboard ingredients and from scratch.  I'm tending to make enough that I have plenty for the following day which is how I'm planning on managing on long days.  That and 9 bars......mmmmmm 9 bars.....

So now I find myself in week 1 of the shakes and its been an interesting couple of days.  The shake powder itself smells ace.  I've experimented thus far with vanilla/cinnamon/blueberry (cornflower blue and ok as long as I dont inhale as I dont like the smell of blueberries, envisage if you will me trying hard to chug without breathing and without keeling over), chocolate and almond nut butter (not quite a reeses cup but very tasty) and vanilla kiwi with nutmeg/cinnamon and ginger (quite gritty, might have gone a *teensy* bit overboard with the spices).  They are incredibly filling, I am only managing 1 a day (the plan calls for 2 per day plus a clean evening meal and clean snacks) plus an evening meal and maybe a small snack.  I'm aware I haven't eaten but not in a 'I have hunger' way but more in a 'hmmmm I've usually packed away half of tescos by now why aren't I hungry' kind of way.   And as each one is a hit of 17 portions of fruit and veg and I am then eating more fruit and veg simply because I am eating clean of an evening I am packing away about 20+ portions of fruit and veg a day without even having the second shake.  No wonder my nails are growing like wildfire, I should technically have a Popeye style bicep bulge every time I chug one (Oim strong to da finish cos I've drunk me spinach Oim Maori da shrinking mom tootooot). 

Unusually I am also more excited now about the plan than I was before I started which is an oddity for me on any kind of eating plan. I am approaching my 14 day plateaux where I usually fall off crash and burn (for burn read: consume ridiculous amounts of sugar filled crap and spend the rest of the evening consumed with self loathing and slight indigestion) and I do genuinely feel I could manage this as a long term path to my weight loss journey.  So for now Maori is trudging on and you are welcome to plod along side me as ever.